Pluto has finally entered Aquarius, marking a shift in our collective energy. We’re leaving behind the relentless grind and materialism of Capricorn and moving toward a future that values freedom, connection, and inclusion. It’s a time for celebrating originality and redefining what it means to live a fulfilling life.

But this transformation raises questions: What truly makes us feel free? How do we balance individuality with community? And perhaps most importantly—how can we reclaim our time and energy in a society designed to drain both?

It’s 8:45 pm on a Monday. You just left an unusually long day of grueling capitalistic work at a corporation that doesn’t even know your first and last name. Your shoulders are stiff, and your back fucking hurts. You sit down to collect yourself, phone in hand, and open your favorite app.

And there it is. A flood of videos promising relaxation, health, and happiness. Pastel tones glow softly on your screen, and upbeat, calming music hums in the background. You see rows of skincare products neatly arranged in spotless acrylic bins, a bathroom with color-coordinated embroidered robes, and a caption whispering, “Because you deserve it.”

Except, it’s not. Not really. The price goes beyond your wallet.

With every scroll, the pressure mounts. “Am I doing enough for myself?” The curated perfection seeps into your mind, convincing you that true self-care only exists in the world of endless purchases and aesthetic routines. You’re left feeling like your imperfect, messy, and like real life is falling short.

The perfectly positioned videos pull you in with their pastel tones and perfectly aligned products, set to lo-fi beats that promise calm amidst the chaos. The whispers of “self-care” captions feel less like advice and more like a command. They sell you an illusion—one where self-care is a commodity, neatly wrapped and ready to ship.

And for every swipe, there’s another ad, another “must-have” product that claims to make you whole. It’s overwhelming. It’s relentless. It’s a trap.

What’s sold as “self-care” is often just a cleverly marketed plan to make you feel like buying is the solution to your stress. But is it? Or does it keep you stuck in the loop of comparison and consumerism?

The truth is, the price isn’t just financial. It’s emotional. Social media’s version of self-care leaves us questioning our worth, our routines, and our ability to find fulfillment outside of a shopping cart.

So, how do we break free? How do we redefine what self-care looks like for ourselves—without the endless scroll?

Girl Please! - Performative Self-Care

Don’t get me wrong—I’m no stranger to retail therapy. For years, I made weekly trips to Barnes & Noble, convincing myself it was for my love of reading. In truth, I just loved the thrill of buying something new. Social media only fueled this mindset, constantly feeding me ads and the idea that more is better. But when the newness wore off, the feeling always crept back: I was still mentally drained, unfulfilled, and overwhelmed by the responsibilities of daily life. It didn’t matter how many books I bought or products I tried. None of it could fix the deeper exhaustion within me.

It was a moment of realization.

I needed to reassess my approach to self-care.

Redefining My Relationship With Self-Care

Self-care is the act of nurturing one’s own needs in a way that promotes relaxation, mental clarity, and the overall elevation of one’s soul. In a society that is becoming more detached from our physical, emotional, and mental desires, figuring out what exactly one needs can feel impossible.

The relentless pace of the American Hustle leaves little room for self-reflection. There’s no time to pause, breathe, and explore your own needs—what makes you feel good, what fulfills you. Proper self-care requires you to put the mirror in front of you and look into your own eyes.

What makes me feel good about myself?

What makes me feel fulfilled?

I love feeling healthy.

I love feeling smart.

And I’m in love with Creation.

A Long Journey Ahead

I’m a Virgo, so studying and learning new things makes me feel good about myself. Finding time to read or research a topic that sparks my interest is my version of self-care. I nourish this part of myself during work breaks, lunch, and any free time.

Feeling healthy is another priority for me, so I stopped relying on DoorDash and started cooking more. I even asked my dad to help me learn how to make cheap but healthy meals that could last for days. Not only did I save money, but I also felt good knowing I was giving my body the nutrition it needed. Now, cooking has become something I genuinely enjoy—a fulfilling act of care I do for myself. Another huge self-care goal of mine is to create more art. Whether that be painting, crocheting, making a vision board, etc.

That’s what self-care is to me. It’s about listening to what I need and creating space for it in my life.

This isn’t advice, because no one can tell you what self-care looks like for you. Only you can define it. And that’s the first step—figuring out what makes you feel whole.

Ways to Identify What Self-Care Means for You

1. Sit with Yourself:

Take time each day to disconnect from distractions—turn off your phone, step away from screens, and sit in silence. Use this time to tune into your body and mind. How do you feel physically, emotionally, and mentally? Identifying these feelings is the first step in understanding what you need.

2. Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Self-care isn't always about relaxation. Sometimes, it means trying something new—whether it's a hobby, a class, or an activity you've been curious about. Growth often comes from pushing beyond familiar boundaries.

3. Journal Your Journey:

Journaling is a great way to track your feelings over time and uncover recurring patterns or problems. By putting your thoughts on paper, you can start to understand what areas of your life need more care and attention.

4. Be Mindful of Social Media:

Social media can heavily influence how you see yourself. Many influencers project a polished, curated image that isn't realistic. Avoid comparing your journey to theirs and focus on what truly fulfills you. Remember, self-care isn't about aesthetics or trends—it's about authenticity.

5. Embrace the Fun:

The best part of self-care is discovering what makes you happy! Whether it's painting, dancing, cooking, or even just taking a walk in nature, embrace the activities that bring you joy and make you feel alive.

These steps aren't a one-size-fits-all solution, but they're a starting point. Self-care is about discovering what works for you—and only you can define what that looks like.

We’ve all felt it—the endless loop of working long hours, coming home exhausted, and barely scraping together a moment for ourselves before it’s time to do it all again. The pressure to overwork for companies that see us as numbers on a spreadsheet is unsustainable. Many of us wake up to this reality, yearning for a more balanced, meaningful way to live.

In this changing world, self-care isn’t just a trend; it’s a necessity. But here’s the catch: navigating self-care in an era consumed by consumerism can feel impossible. Social media is quick to sell us an aesthetic version of care, but what does real self-care actually look like?

How the fuck do we navigate self-care in a society obsessed with buying more and more?

The Price

Buy this robe set.

Buy this lounge set.

Buy this illuminating eye mask.

Grab this new body cream.

It’s on sale.

It’s on sale.

It’s on sale.

Self-care in today’s age has, unfortunately, become another way to fuel the American capitalistic machine. When the appreciation and care of our mind, body, and soul are reduced to materials and wealth, the true essence of self-care gets lost in the noise of consumerism.

There have been countless times when I’ve watched self-care videos on TikTok and felt inadequate because these people seemed so perfect. They woke up at 5:30 a.m., did morning Pilates in their pink Lulu lemon set, prepared the most aesthetically pleasing breakfasts in their clean, color-coded kitchens, and somehow managed to do all this before 7 a.m.

It all felt so performative. Are they tending to their garden for the sake of reaching their highest potential? Or are they filling a void with material possessions?

I began to rethink how I could nourish myself without spending my entire paycheck on fleeting pleasures. More importantly, I asked how I could satisfy these feelings in ways that contribute to my personal growth over time. If you’re like me, your list of interests seems endless, constantly growing. That same list can become a source of pressure—a never-ending cycle of feeling like you need to buy or achieve more to fulfill your craving for mental stimulation.

I turned to TikTok for inspiration, only to be bombarded by ads and influencers promising that happiness could be bottled in a serum or found in a perfectly curated skincare routine. The #selfcare influencers had it all: 14 layers of skincare, four gadgets to plump, tighten, and glow every part of their bodies, and perfectly staged aesthetics. But instead of feeling inspired, I felt overwhelmed.

I needed to simplify. I needed to free myself from the pressure to conform to someone else’s idea of self-care.

I had to simply stop listening.

I stopped watching the #selfcare girlies and stopped looking to external influences to define what made ME feel good.

No one else could determine what I needed for my well-being. The journey was—and continues to be—one of self-discovery.

"My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style."

Maya Angelou